Fear Factor

Once again, the press is covering up the real issues of the day. I find the BBC website clogged up with such news "stories" as a politician maybe keeping his job or not, when the real news is right here.

Yes kids that is right. Last night it was confirmed that Ghosts, Vampires and the Devil amongst others are in fact real. How do I know this, you may ask. Well they all came to my house last night knocking on my door. Far fetched you may think, but I assure you this happened.

Luckily these beasts didn't attack me - I managed to keep them at bay with sweets and other sugary treats. However I do not think these will keep the monsters at bay for long.

This is why I need your help, gather all weapons that you can to keep this threat at bay- I know for a fact they will strike again soon while my stockpile of candy-based goods is low. The more damage the weapon can do the better - I want to take groups out in one fatal swoop - much like rather threatening one pictured below.