Headline of the Week 2

I know, 2 headlines of the week within one week! Crazy eh? But this headline below shows that truly great journalism can come out of such tragedy...

Headline of the Week

And the Nobel Peace Prize goes to..

Jude's Law

Shocking news as a man who had previously cheated on a girlfriend, has again cheated on a girlfriend it was revealed today. If that wasn't interesting enough for you (and if you don't think this is interesting you must be braindead or something), you'll be pleased to know that this time it was a different girlfriend, who the man had apparently met when cheating on a previous girlfriend. Who would have thought that? What a silly cow she'll look now, it's probably all her fault anyway - stuck up bint.

Personally, I'm glad to see some proper news on the front pages of the newspapers for once - all you ever hear about is car bombs exploding in Bagdad which is totally yawnsville USA if you ask me. And all this London business is dragging on somewhat isn't it? Thank goodness for the Nation's Celebs for taking the focus of this boring one sided agenda they seem to have, and giving the people some real stories to read in their newspapers in the morning.

Please Note - the above is an attempt at satire. If you think the opinions expressed are my own, then you probably think "The Sun" is the biggest selling English language paper in the world because it is the peak of journalistic excellence. In which case never read this web page again, and go off and read today's TV Biz column. I hear there's a great picture of Konnie from Blue Peter stumbling out of a night club at the weekend DRUNK!!!! Whatever next?

Half Bloody Hell

Can't wait until Saturday to find out the plot of the next Harry Potter book? Well Bandwagon Best is breaking the embargo on the book and slipping you a preview of this most original of Harry Potter plots. Enjoy Muggles :-

• It Starts off with Harry back at home with his magic-hating Uncle & Aunt. They do some nasty things to Harry and unexpectedly get their comeuppance at the end of the book.
  
  
• Whilst in the Muggle World, Harry hears about a new, whilst at the same time strangely familar, threat.
  
  
• Harry goes back to Hogwarts and meets up with Hermione and Ron on the train. Malfoy says some nasty things to Harry and unexpectedly gets his comeuppance at the end of the book
  
  
• The mysterious threat gets even more mysterious.
  
  
• Hagrid hilariously slips up and tells Harry more about the threat by accident
  
  
• Snape is nasty to Harry, then unexpectedly reveals his human side at the end of the book
  
  
• Harry & Co snoop around a bit. They almost get caught, then they aren't caught at all.
  
  
• A tense Quiddich match which it looks like Harry's team will lose, but then they actually win, thanks of course to Harry
  
  
• Dumbledore gives Harry a dire warning about the mysterious threat and also we find out some rather interesting information about Harry's parents. Apparently they often acted like Harry does now, shocking considering they are blood relations
  
  
• Whilst trying to solve the threat - the gang realise they have exams to do as well. Literally testing times.
  
  
• The mysterious threat is revealed - it's Voldemort.
  
  
• Someone unimportant dies
  
  
• Harry defeats Voldemort, but Voldemort manages to escape at the last moment to start planning an even more mysterious and threatening threat which will no doubt start coming to light around September time.
  
  
• In the process of defeating Voldemort - Harry wins the House Cup for Gryffindor, whilst Malfoy says something out of line, knocking points of his own house. The Fool.
  
  
• They all leave for home, content in the fact they have defeated another threat, but well aware that it is entirely possible another one may well just 2 months away.
  

London, Baby

A glorious day in British Olympic history, as at last we finally won something. It has been quite a while since us Brits could celebrate an olympic achievement. The last time we had a major win at the olympics was 1945, but ever since "War" wasn't recognsied as a sport (thanks to two upstart German members of the Olympic Committee) we haven't really had a chance until now.

It may be 7 whole years until the event itself, but like most Brits I can't wait until London is burdened with debt. A good move by the campaign to have it in one of the poorest areas in Britain - they'll already have bags of experience of having no cash, now they can experience it on a world wide scale. After all, nobody would have liked to see the French (beloved by all) burdened by a lack of funds.

So here's to 2012, a fortnight where British heroes will be made or hopefully deported if every single medal isn't Gold.